I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
