suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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