I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
