are you so shy because you have an std?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize