i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
