My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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