Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
