I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
