Where did you get a picture of my penis
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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