he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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