My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
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