Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize