Jerry, you need to find god
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
