we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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