fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
