remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
