Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
