Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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