Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
