Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
