i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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