so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
