I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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