one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
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