Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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