He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize