yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
