Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
