There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
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