how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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