I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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