covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
