she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
