Sry I called you an 8
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I came so hard my ears popped.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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