I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
