please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize