I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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