I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
