Only a mothe r could love this liver
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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