M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize