another moral hangover. fuck.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
