I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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