you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
