after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
