I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Randomize