My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
