How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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