I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
i think i just lost a toe
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
