how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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