i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
