Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Randomize