I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Randomize
