margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I am available for nakedness
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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