what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
