I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
