Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
