I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
