I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
