he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
