Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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