Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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