You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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