on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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