Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
