Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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