If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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