meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
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