lets start a swedish sibling band together
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
